This Is a Public Service Message.

You like cheese?

You like cheesy movies?

You like cheesy movies that are naked rip-offs of infinitely better films?

I give you. Tentacles.

Among it's joys are a cast of absolutely slumming A-Listers, John Huston, Shelly Winters and Henry flippin' Fonda, no less. Not to mention the great Claude Akins as the town sherrif, and Bo "Joe the Pha-Roh" Hopkins as our lead, the heroic marine biologist.

Fonda's performance is a treat. It's clear his entire appearance was shot after everyone else. He never interacts with anyone, save one supporting actor, except over the phone. There's a fantastic phone conversation between Fonda and Huston, where they're supposed to be threatening each other, but the editing is so gloriously poor that there's enough room to drive a truck between each line. The lack of connection, or the feeling of a real conversation, smashes into your knowledge that these are two great actors, and...your mind will be blown.

The movie is also deliciously mean. No one is safe. I mean, it opens with the giant octopus eating a baby. It's off screen, sure...but the effort to out-do Jaws is appreciated.

Let's top this off with a score that is so odd, it's hard to describe. First off, it kinda sounds like maybe it was composed on a casio keyboard. Like composer Stelvio Cipriani was going for a John Carpenter score type of thing. The music does reflect the action it's under, but...it's off. It's almost like the score got transposed into a major key from a minor. Horrible things are happening, and the music speeds up, but it's almost sprightly and happy.

It's just utterly bizarre.

Let me just finish with this....Which is a speech delivered to Bo Hopkins to his Killer Whales late in the film;

I guess you know now why I brought you here... I wanted to tell ya more about it, but there've been many people that died... I've lost a loved one. I need your help more now than ever. I remember the times when I was training ya - people used to call you killers. They used ta call me that on the streets. It doesn't mean nothing. You have more, more love in your heart, more affection than any human being I ever met. But now I... I can't ask anybody else, so I'm asking you to help me kill this octopus. I hope you understand that. I know I'm in your environment. I don't want it this way, but if I release ya and you go away, I want ya to know I'll understand. All right, enough said. I gotta go now. If you feel anything - you talk to me. Make some noises. I know people'll think we're crazy. Maybe we are... Maybe we are... 

Yep...that's about the size of it.