Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Over-Committed: Second Verse, Same as the First

I think I may have had a mild panic attack last night. Maybe. It might've been as result of drinking overly-caffeinated beverages after six PM, as well. Or, maybe a combination of the caffeine and knowing that I've, once again, put myself in a position where I have taken on too much.

I've been around people with panic attacks, but I've never had one. At least I've never recognized one. Last night, I crawled into bed, and the ceiling stared spinning, the walls closed in, my chest tightened, and my brain was going a million miles an hour. I lay there for hours, with this same crushing sensation, and then proceeded to not get up and do my usual morning workout. This, of course, just makes me feel worse.

I sometimes wonder why the hell I get myself into these things. I mean, I can say "no," I do a lot. I dunno. I think I have a perverse need to be wanted.


Really, I'm just mad at myself. Why am I overcommitted? Because of my own stupidity. It's my fault, and now I have to live with it.

Of course, CByrd has to live with it, too, which just makes me feel guilty.

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