After a fairly long dry spell, I'm starting a new show tonight. Sun, Stand Thou Still with Ka-Tet Theatre. It's exciting, and a bit scary. I always get nervous with new shows where I don't know anyone. It's always impossible to tell how the personalities will mesh until you're neck-deep in the process, and, frankly, I can be a bear to work with.
No, no...I'm not unpleasant, I don't argue and fight. However, I'm almost 40. I know what works for me, and what doesn't, at this point.
Case in point; group warm-ups....HATE them. I like to go off by myself and get centered, and go from there. I don't feel comfortable standing in a circle "getting my energy up," and I can be a real butthead about it. In fact, anything that makes me feel like I'm at a summer camp is really not fun for me.
I'll usually bear it out for a while, then slip away to be by myself.
Anyway...there will be another edition of yesterday's blog, but I have to work myself up to it. The Peter Pan situation, even at the time I understood, was not a malicious situation. No one was evil, it was just an overly stressful situation, and a lot of people got caught up in it. Doesn't change my utter despair over it, but I didn't walk out of that show hating a specific person, or feeling they were evil.
I'd be exposed to that soon enough.
Also...some people seem to have gotten the idea that yesterday was some sort of statement of my desire to quit, again. Not so. I have the impulse a lot, I assure you, and, as I said, at least once a year I feel that utter despair of being lost within something that I can't feel a connection to. I was simply talking about how depressing that show was over the weekend, and, yes...it did connect to some of the things I've seen/am dealing with lately. That doesn't mean I'm packing in, just yet.
I also got "Reason" and "Zep" re-done over the weekend. "Zep" still needs a guitar solo, but I've got most of that worked on in my head, I just need to get it down. REALLY happy with how these new versions sound, and I can hear new riffs in my head....So, hopefully, this weekend with bring at least the start of a new track.