High Pressure

Pygmalion is open. The reviews are quite good.

Of course, what that really means to me is that I'm on to my next project. Peyton Place at CityLit. I was late into rehearsals because of my Pygmalion schedule, so this past Monday was my first night on that project. The rest of the cast had been working for about a week previous.

Hey, great, right? Come in a little late, get into the swing, feeling good.

Then I looked closely at the schedule.

I had exactly THREE (3) rehearsals before I have to be off book. Two (2) of those have already happened.

 

It'll be fine...it'll be fine....it'll be fine....

I hope.

Damn, Time Flies

I've been letting the blog down. I know this. I should write more, but, the simple fact is, I've been so wiped out with getting Frankenstein on it's feet, I didn't have much energy to blog. It's kinda ridiculous. I keep thinking there's going to be some glorious, golden moment in a few weeks when I'll have some free time to read, or work on music. Some time when I won't feel the pressure of my commitments.

Not bloody likely.

I'm into a Meisner scene study class now, and I was ecstatic to find out I'd be working on David Mamet's Speed the Plow. Anyone who knows me knows I love Mamet, and what you may not know is that, aside from a directing assignment where I put up a one act cutting of American Buffalo (a REALLY stupid decision on my part - never try to direct a play you really just want to be in), I have NEVER worked on a Mamet play.

But Goddamn, it's a lot of words.

On top of that, Pygmalion is on the horizon and moving in fast. Had a meeting with our dialect coach last night, and I have to start on lines for that, as well as getting the cockney in my head. I'm feeling very wary of this project. I'm not overly sure why. It's a great part, funny and lovely dialogue.

But Goddamn, it's a lot of words.

I also am feeling very, very much like I want to get back to working on my recording projects. It's been so long since I've felt like I could work on them, I may be at a point where I need to "burn the ships" again. I have one solid track done, I think (two different versions, even), and a lot of great songs starting to gel. I just find that, often, when I lose my track on where I am, and what my thought process was, it's best to chuck it all and start over.

That's why I have a home studio, isn't it? Don't cost nothin'.

Over-Committed: Second Verse, Same as the First

I think I may have had a mild panic attack last night. Maybe. It might've been as result of drinking overly-caffeinated beverages after six PM, as well. Or, maybe a combination of the caffeine and knowing that I've, once again, put myself in a position where I have taken on too much.

I've been around people with panic attacks, but I've never had one. At least I've never recognized one. Last night, I crawled into bed, and the ceiling stared spinning, the walls closed in, my chest tightened, and my brain was going a million miles an hour. I lay there for hours, with this same crushing sensation, and then proceeded to not get up and do my usual morning workout. This, of course, just makes me feel worse.

I sometimes wonder why the hell I get myself into these things. I mean, I can say "no," I do a lot. I dunno. I think I have a perverse need to be wanted.

*sigh*

Really, I'm just mad at myself. Why am I overcommitted? Because of my own stupidity. It's my fault, and now I have to live with it.

Of course, CByrd has to live with it, too, which just makes me feel guilty.